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So I'm supposed to go to this management "offsite" thing on Thursday. But I don't see how I can. I can hardly hold it together until 5pm every day much less a thing where I'm supposed to "bond" and shit with the other managers. I mean, how am I supposed to be motivated to do anything when my boss basically told me I was going to be fired? Who does that? It's not like this job is all that great but walking in that door every day is just asking for more failure.

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Main reason is because I hate it but I know you can get over that.

Another reason is my arms. They will never be normal. I lost over 100 pounds twice and without surgery (which involves incisions from the armpit to the elbow) I will never be comfortable in a tank top, sleeveless dress, or bathing suit. I might wear them but I will probably be drinking so that I don't think about it.

I will never want a picture taken that is not just my face. Never. Because there is no way to hide them. Even with long sleeves. I could be a size 2 and I would still look like a whale because of my arms. So what is the point?

I know my husband my friends etc don't care. You think I'm pretty and nice whatever. But about 75% of the world discards me as a useless piece of flesh because I have fat arms. Pretending that doesn't bother me is really hard sometimes. And working out is just a nice long spell where I get to feel helpless, disgusting, and worthless.

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I finished someone's birthday present!!!!!! Lalalallala!

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Stand up!

Feb. 3rd, 2013 04:15 pm
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We had the SWC friends and family concert last night! It was super fun! I was really nervous for my solo. (It's like a 60 second story I tell, but it's really more like a comedy routine). Everyone said I did a great job and it felt good!

Always wanted to do standup, and this is just a little taste. it felt good. I'm excited about repeating it on Friday to a near-packed Benaroya hall!

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Dad update

Feb. 1st, 2013 10:52 am
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He is out of surgery, ventilator is out, already harassing the nurses. Looks like he's out of the woods.

And now Isleeeep

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I got grumpy/sad today. Not sure why. Might have been the NPR story about the Trauma center, could be me second guessing myself about whether I am doing enough to earn my salary. I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder for the other shoe to drop. Tim told me that I'm cranky a lot. I'm trying not to be. In bed watching reality TV drinking wine. Hope it helps.

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I was inspired by Jenga, who always looks so nice to wear nicer clothes. When you look good, you feel good or so they say. So I've been wearing dresses to work. It's really kind of fun. Sure the novelty will wear off and I'll stop getting compliments eventually, but it's fun for the time being. I'm wearing jeans today since I had to have Danny at the dentist at 7am but I'm not goin in today.

Why? Because its the last day of my Software Product Management course at UW and I have to do a presentation. Im super ready but my partner is nervous.mostly because she has no idea what is going on. That's not my fault though. I'm not going to do All the work and then waste my time teaching her.

Last night I started and finished my rainbow tutu for pride. I can see tutus being cute on little girls but it's gigantic and poofy on me, and being an ample sized woman, it makes me look Kind of like a self contained parade float. I guess I don't care that much.

I wonder if the booze will be cheaper at costco than it was at the liquor store. I need to buy a whole bar's worth.

I'm worried I'm going to miss Mardi's 4th of July party when I go to my choir conference in Denver.

I just ordered $700 worth of anti seizure meds for my son but he is going to (maybe) get his drivers license in a month. Like driving isn't stressful enough, I gotta have an epileptic.

I'm rambling but it's boring in the dentists office.

Making chocolate raspberry cupcakes for class today. Can't decide which dress to wear for my presentation. Should I go all business-y or should I go pretty?
What else? I turn into Eric Wesley when I am on Nitrous oxide. I hate songs that are just idioms strung together. There's one in particular.

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I'm sitting in the waiting room at Swedish Issaquah (omg gorgeous hospital) waiting for Ian to get done with his EEG. There's a Starbucks here so it's not so bad. I thought I'd update here, why not.

blah blah blah )

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Too much cleavage for work y/n? I work at a game company.

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Hi virumai!

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Sharon Bruhn

December 2016

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